More than 40% of U.S. teens say they feel sad or hopeless most days. One child psychologist says grandparents could help turn this around.
Dr. Kenneth Barish, a clinical professor at Weill Cornell Medicine, notes that families today have far less help from extended relatives. He believes this loss adds to the mental‑health crisis among children.
In his new book, *The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting*, Dr. Barish shares four decades of work with families. He mixes science, brain research, and real‑world stories to show how grandparents can make a big difference.
Why Purpose Matters for Kids
Grandparents can push back against a culture that prizes personal success over caring for others. When we focus only on “I” achievements, children miss out on kindness and community.
Studies link intense pressure to anxiety, depression, and even drug use, especially in wealthy neighborhoods. Dr. Barish says children need a deeper sense of purpose beyond personal awards.
Helping others boosts self‑esteem, lowers depression, improves school success, strengthens the immune system, and may even add years to life. Families can volunteer together and talk often about empathy, feelings, and how to help.
These conversations build meaning for kids. They are as important as homework and correcting mistakes—maybe even more so.
How Grandparents Support Mental Health
Grandparents give more than practical help. They provide “emotional medicine” – small moments of listening, encouragement, and understanding that act like a shield for a child’s feelings.
When a child knows someone truly hears them, they feel less alone and learn that problems can be solved. Play, shared hobbies, and genuine excitement for a child’s interests also grow emotional strength.
The Trouble with Too Much Criticism
Dr. Barish sees one big issue: families often criticize too much. Frequent criticism creates resentment, defiance, and weakens a child’s drive.
Instead of praising talent, he suggests praising effort and learning. This follows the “growth mindset” idea that effort matters more than innate ability.
Building Confidence Through Talk
Raising kids means handling tough behavior. Dr. Barish offers 21 simple rules that encourage cooperation, such as solving problems together and giving children a chance to start fresh instead of punishing.
Success comes from strong feelings of confidence, caring relationships, and the ability to cope with hard emotions—not just from teaching skills.
When grandparents and parents talk often, listen closely, and share joyful moments, children become more resilient, kind, and purposeful.